As you know I am currently studying and I have exams coming up so that’s why I could not blog and I apologise for that. for me it takes while to understand a lot of stuff as my brain works very slow I guess. I still cannot take those things out of my head that happened with me in high school. I am still broken and don’t know what to do with my life. Sometimes I ask myself, should I end my life but on the other hand I think I have been staying strong for too long and it’s not time to quit. life is very hard I must say. I don’t know who are those people who win over life. Even everyone know that one day everyone going to die but still people cannot stop hurting others. now you tell me what should I do. from last couple of days I have lost so much money and right know I have been only left with very little money. I do not have a job but I’m not sure how long I will be keep blogging. Once I ran out of money then I do not have any choice but to quit. but it’s been great that how many people read about my story otherwise I would have probably never tell anyone. I share everything with you and never hide anything. I received email the other day about how much I pay for blogging. I have paid around 20.99 for registering domain for 2 years and I pay 200 Australian dollars per month to just blog. I don’t know how I will afford to keep blogging with any job. But let’s see what happen. I receive so many emails everyday and its great to talk to you. I reply to everyone’s email.
if someone do not have my email: email@example.com
you all can contact me anytime you like. I hope no one is dealing with the problems as I am. I hope everyone is happy and enjoying.
see you soon 😊
Why I could not post in last couple of days
there are easter holidays going on last couple of days. I watched couple of movies and was studying. I tried to post but internet was very slow and I could not post it. we had a very big celebration 🎉 in our town. I seen those two girls yesterday on my Instagram story. I felt very bad and thought I should go today and apologies but I could not do it. but on the other hand I realise that why should I apologise if others have done that bad with me.
lottery result: I won 25.61 dollars but pretty much I lost half of the money because I spent more than that. but it is okay but it is an experience by the way I had 4 numbers exactly the same as on the lottery ticket. that’s why I won that much money but if I has 2 more exact numbers I would have won 4 million dollars. I was very close could not believe that I only need two more words.
my everyday life is very boring. I wish I also have friends but I don’t and I cannot do anything about that. I still don’t know what I want in my life but I know one thing that I want to escape from here go very far away from my past.
let’s see where my life will take me…..
waiting for my lottery result
fingers crossed maybe i will will something tonight when they will release lottery results tonight. i know there are millions of people bought same lottery so it makes it very hard but it’s always worth a try to do. if i do not win anything tonight then maybe i will never by lottery again as i do not have much money left. i have enrolled my self in 50 games the other day i hope atleast one of number should win something.
and you all have been a great support to me. make sure you keep yourself update with my daily blog. i was thinking yesterday so what if i do not have friends i have you all that are more than friends and i can share everything with you.
you can always contact me on: firstname.lastname@example.org
this is what i recieved in an email today
recieved very good material in an email shared by someone.
Are you still updating your website?
My name is Marissa and I work with DrugRehab.com, a web resource that provides information about addiction and mental health issues.
Researchers have found that middle and high school students who are involved in bullying are more likely to use alcohol, cigarettes, and marijuana. Our goal is to spread awareness about this issue and to be an educational tool to families struggling with bullying problems.
I believe that our bullying information would be a valuable addition to the resources on your page, https://lifeafterbullyingandanxietydisorder.com/
If you would like to bring attention to this topic, we would appreciate it if you could add this guide on your page:
Thank you for your time. Have a great rest of your day!
i think it is very useful guide for someone who needs it most. by the way i do not do drugs or anything.
again i want to talk about my life. life is hard
one thing i realise even i am very young. if i ever get second chance to live i never want to be nice person. worse persons are always good. i do not swear or flirt and i have respect for all of them but what did i get in return. nothing, except everyone hurted me and still hurting. then i think that what is bad in becoming bad person. since yesterday and today i am having a really bad day. i have lost thousands of dollars on starting a business. everyone who did bad to me is succeded and i am the only one who is left behind. my suggestion to everyone is never become nice person its actually the worse. even if you help someone at some stage they going to stab you from the back. why even i try so much why can’t i become bad person just like others who even has friends and i am sitting here writing blog. sometimes i think what heppen if i was like others like using abusive words, do not have respect for others and flirting then i should have alot of frineds to talk to. what did i get for thinking good for others. somepeople who studied with me turned there faces away from me yesterday like they did not see me. everyone wants to ignore me like i do not exist.
bought lottery ticket again today. i know it can get addicting to keep buying lottery ticket but this is last one as i do not want to loose money. i spent 54.30 dollars on lottery ticket which is due on this thursday late night.
stay tuned i will keep you updated with my today blog later this evening. soon i will upload that letter i was telling everyone about in my first blog. i am just not ready yet because i do not want to open that letter and type it. but keep updated i will upload that.
i did not get time to blog yesterday. yesterday i had very busy day. i woke up around 6 yestaerday and got ready. it took me about 2 hours to get ready. yestaerday i found those two girls on instagram and i thought it very long should i add them or not. then i sent them follow request as they they their accounr private and they accepted my request but did not followed me back. i looked through their friends and seen alot of people who gave me really hard time but they both were foloowing them. that was not okay for me but then i said to myself hey thats ok if they hate me know because they should be i never talked with them but they don’t realise i did everything for them. i felt heartbroken when soon after they uploaded a photo saying we don’t follow some people as they are too temporary in life. after reading that everything around me just stopped for a while and i did not even want to eat anymore even i was very hungry. i went there where they both work and just ignored me like i am nothing to them. since yesterday i am trying to sort my life together. i needed them the most but looks like now it is too late to explain everything and say sorry. i lost the lottery. i got only 3 same numbers if i had three more same numbers i would have won.
right now i am struggling to find job but if i find job and even i avoid places where there are alot of people. but it’s going to be hard for about one year because i am currently studying as well. if i save some money like around 15000 dollars then maybe i will go to new country to visit and maybe change will help me overcome my depression and anxiety.
what you all think about that?
send you comments to email@example.com
today I woke up very early as I could not sleep last night properly. a lot of stuff was going through my mind like how can I move from here. this morning I bought couple of lottery ticket. I never bought lottery ticket before but I tried this time. I spent 50.45 cents on lottery but unfortunately did not win anything. I still stay depressed and was thinking how can I make money from home but I failed again and again. I do not have any friends that’s why I want to share my story with others and maybe I will make some friends online. today afternoon I just ate lunch and now I’m writing about what happened after that I am going to take some medicines and sleep. today I was thinking that life is very hard and even harder when you don’t have any friend like what can you do nothing just stay at home all day. by the way I did not go to shops to buy lottery ticket but I bought it online. I don’t like where there are a lot of people as I get more depressed. after I wake up from nap I will do some learning and go over my notes as it is very hard for me to learn in class.